Stop Living A Lie
by Saiesaie
Summary: Her heart belonged to him, they both could see that, but every day she would go home to her fiancé, and put on a truly brilliant performance, pretending that she loved him, pretending that she longed for him... AU oneshot


**Hi everyone! This is just an idea I've had in my head for a while! It's just a oneshot but there could be a sequel to it in the future once I've finished my other fic 'You Always Come Back to Me'. Please review, I'd appreciate some feedback!**

-x-

"How come I can't take my eyes off you, huh?" he spoke to her softly while she lay sleeping peacefully beside him. Her beautiful golden locks flowed down her back so perfectly; he couldn't bear to tear his eyes away for a second.

The duvet covered her small frame so gently, as if she were a fragile ornament. That's how he treated her, protected her from the horrors of the world out there. That was, until she had to leave, the sounding of her closing the door always broke his heart, and she made her way back to the man she had promised her life to. It didn't matter how much he begged her to stay, or how much she said she wanted to lie with him right there, forever, she left anyway. Shutting out their recent meeting, pushing it to the back of her mind.

Pretending became too much for him sometimes, and he was sure it did for her too. They had to hide the fact that they were deeply in love, and in far too deep to ever manage to crawl out again, re-surface.

At first they fought their feelings like tooth and nail, until eventually, the attraction became too much and the betrayal started. Two best friends became lovers, everyone used to always say it was inevitable, and then they met other people, and lived separate lives, until the inevitable became a completely unbelievable idea.

-x-

Her heart belonged to him, they both could see that, but every day she would go home to her fiancé, and put on a truly brilliant performance, pretending that she loved him, pretending that she longed for him, when all she really longed for was to be in her best friends arms, to kiss him, to make love to him.

She always planned on telling her fiancé, that was said all along. But it never happened; her kind and thoughtful mind wouldn't let him get hurt, his two best friends couldn't put him through any more pain than he had already been through.

-x-

"Stop watching me sleep, Ric," she murmured sweetly, keeping her gorgeous eyes closed.

"I'm not," he lied, keeping his eyes fixed on the love of his life.

"Yes you are," she said as she gracefully opened her eyes, letting them adjust to the light that flooded into the room through the window. "You always do."

And she was right. He always watched her while she slept, he would never grow tired of the sight of her. The way she smiled while dreaming, and the way her eyes flickered open occasionally, giving him the slightest glimpse of her ocean-blue eyes that shimmered in the light. They were filled with the love and honesty she carried with her all of the time. Her eyes carried such hidden meanings, that only he could possibly understand.

"I could just lie here for the rest of my life, and be completely happy, you know that?" she said as she wrapped her delicate arms around his strong, muscular figure. His heart crumbled whenever he heard her utter those words, because no matter how much she said them or meant them, it still couldn't happen, too many people would be hurt.

-x-

"Run away with me?" he blurted out as they were both putting their clothes back on.

She paused for a moment taking in the desperate look on his face. The strong, brave man she had always known, seemed to disappear when she left after their meetings, and was replaced by a vulnerable boy, clinging on to the slightest bit of hope he found inside himself. He ran his hand through his short, brown hair, waiting for her reply, staring at her with his puppy-dog eyes.

"You know I can't Ric, we've been through this so many times. I can't hurt Lucas like that, he's your best friend and he's my fiancé, it's not fair," tears prickled in her eyes as she made herself spring back into reality.

"That's the same answer you always give, Mattie! Have you never thought about how unfair this is on me?"" he raised his voice, something was different in his tone of voice, an anger of some sort. Something that Matilda had never heard before.

"What about me, Ric? I'm the one living two separate lives, with two different people. I have to lie every day, every single day."

"Yeah, but I have to watch you with him, whenever we meet at the surf club or at the diner, if I don't then he'll wonder why his best mate is avoiding him. The thing is I'm not avoiding him; I'm avoiding the jealousy that swells up inside of me every time I see him put his arm around you, or every time he gets to hold you in his arms, freely, in front of everyone. I have to watch you play along as well, kiss him and talk to him so lovingly, put your hand in his hand. It makes me so sick thinking that I can never do that, all I want to do is tell the world how much I love you, Mattie, how much every second we can spare together, releases this incredible energy within me. You are the most beautiful person in the world, Tilly, inside and out. You're so generous, kind and you always put others before yourself!" his voice broke and the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes now made their way down his cheeks. "For once I am asking you to think about yourself, right now, who do you want to be with? What will make you happier? Living a life that you're always pretending to love, or loving a life with the person you love?"

Tears streamed down Matilda's cheeks as Ric's powerful speech overwhelmed her. She couldn't manage to speak she was so choked up. The air just wouldn't pass over her vocal chords. Ric watched helplessly as she broke down into small sobs.

"Look at us, Mattie! For three years now we've been living a lie. It's too dangerous for us to meet each other in secret in Summer Bay now! We have to come up to Yabbie Creek and stay in this crappy motel! We can't go on like this. I'm leaving the Bay tomorrow, regardless of whether you come with me or not. I've already told Sally, Brad and Pippa, so everyone probably knows by now. I can't stay, wishing for something that I can never have!" Ric's determination was completely masking over the hurt he felt for yelling at Matilda, this had to be done. "I'm twenty-five for god's sake! You're twenty-three! We're too old to be carrying on like teenagers; this is true love we're messing around with, not some fling. You do know that, right?"

"Of course I know that, Ric! What do you take me for, an idiot?" Matilda bit back with just as much snap as Ric had previously.

"Well come with me then, we can start again, live a life together. We'll spend the rest of our lives with one another. We'll get married, have babies, buy a house and get a dog. I'd be happy with whatever life threw at me, as long as you were right there with me, supporting me and loving me. Please Mattie?"

"Ric, no!" Matilda was hysterical now. Sadness ran through her blood, spread throughout her body. He was her oxygen, her world and she thought, her destiny. But her life was in Summer Bay, with her family and friends, she couldn't leave like a coward, run away from the life she knew.

With that she violently picked up her handbag and ran through the bedroom doorway. Taking one last look at the broken man that stood before her, stopping on the spot to look at him one last time, look at the man that made her heart skip a beat when she met him on the street, and the man that gave her butterflies whenever he put his skin in contact with her own. There was no explanation to describe the way she felt leaving him, knowing that this would be the last time she saw him. Her heart broke and told her to run back into his arms, but her head told her to stay strong and resist the temptation.

He stood there, for some reason his feet were glued to the ground, her tears magically making more appear in his eyes, and flow down his cheeks. This was it, there was nothing more he could do, and he was about to lose the one thing in his life that made sense. Life probably wasn't going to be worth living anymore.

"I'll always love you Matilda Hunter," he said, although it only came out in an emotional whisper, his voice cracking under the tension and the stress.

"And I will always, always love you Ric Dalby. Don't forget me, please," she sobbed as she ran over to him and gave him one last, passionate, love-fuelled kiss. A kiss that summed up their whole secret relationship, all of their remaining strength went into it, all of their heart and soul. The kiss would have lasted a lifetime if Matilda hadn't pulled away, unable to handle her emotions anymore.

She ran out of the room and into the storm that was brewing outside. Ric watched as the only person he had ever properly loved ran out, leaving a shattered life behind her, the sound of her footsteps running out of the motel room, trampled all over his heart.

"How could I ever forget you, Tilly?"


End file.
